The Backup Bench

I’m going to share a big secret with all of you fellas.  Please don’t let the ladies know I told our secret…  All ladies in relationships have had a backup bench. Yep, I said it.  We have a backup plan, just in case you act a fool.  I know you just read this and looked at your lady sideways.  You asked her if she has a bench and she crinkled her face, hid her smirk, and said no with a laugh.  Yep, I know because she has one.  Continue reading The Backup Bench

Who taught you to love?


Sometimes anti-role models are who we need to follow or not-follow.  In this case, these people come in handy.  Raise your hand if you remember witnessing a volatile relationship – be it physical, loud arguments, abuse, cheating and/or disrespect.  Let those other people’s experiences be your lesson.  Personally, I remember looking to my anti-role models to help guide me through life.  I saw that unprotected sex resulted in teen pregnancy in which the boy usually was not around. I learned that little education often led to dead in jobs with low pay. The life experiences that I witnessed of others helped me majorly.  I’m not sure where I would be if I had not learned those lessons that I learned from pure observation.

What does love have to do with learning life lessons?  A heck of a lot.  Just about all of our beliefs come from experiences that happened during our childhood.  We either embrace those lessons as we become adults or we do the complete opposite of what we were taught because for whatever reason, it does not agree with our souls.  For example, you probably have the same political affiliation as those who raised you.  You probably have the same religion as well.  Why?  Because you were taught that this particular way of thinking is correct. The same is true with love. Continue reading Who taught you to love?

The One

We always hear about finding THE ONE.  Some of us think every time we meet a new person that we have a mutual attraction with that they might be THE ONE.   What about THE ONE that got away? THE ONE is always THE ONE until the relationship ends and we can’t believe we wasted our time.  What?  I thought they were THE ONE?  What happened?  How did that change?  Continue reading The One

It’s Not Them. It’s You.



its you

I want the perfect relationship. Yep, I said it. (Ok, perfect for me). I want someone to call me the first thing they do in the morning just to say hello and wish me well. I want to wake up one morning and find my love smiling peacefully staring at me, as he was waiting excitedly for me to wake. I want to go to a function and overhear my love bragging about me and what I bring to his life. I want to feel so secure in my relationship that I can trust him wholeheartedly in every situation that he will make the right choice that won’t end up hurting either of us. I want him to thank the universe and all our previous failed relationships for bringing us together. I want it like that. Continue reading It’s Not Them. It’s You.

Accepting Love

I completed a survey on character strengths from U Penn and one question asked if you are able to accept love. Say what now? “Are you able to accept love?”  I paused on the questionnaire.  It was a dumb question to me initially.  Then I stopped to figure out why that question was even on there (yeah, I get pretty deep in thought over small things at times).  Eventually, it made sense. It then explained some behaviors of some people I know. They can’t accept love. The closer they get to someone or the more emotionally connected they become, they act out or push them away purposely.  They can’t accept love. Continue reading Accepting Love