“THEY” said I Need to Get Married, You’ll Do

I don’t care what age you are, someone will tell you when you need to do something according to what “they” say. “They” say you have to wait three months in a relationship before you have sex.  “They” say you have to be married before 30 if you are a woman or something is wrong with you.  “They” say if a man doesn’t propose to you within two years, he never will so dump him and don’t waste your time. “They” always have something to say.  The funny thing is, “they” usually never followed any of that advice and are usually trying to Geppetto your situation.


I must admit, sometimes I’ve followed the relationship advice “they” gave intermittingly throughout my life.  Often times, I’ve thought that relationships failed because I didn’t follow the rules.  I remember reflecting that on my long term relationships and I found that in all of those, I actually followed that three month waiting period rule.  It wasn’t like we’d be hot and heavy and I’d stop and look at the calendar and tell dude that he had a little longer to wait.  No, it was nothing like that. Instead, we actually got to know each other during those months and when the time felt right, it just so happened to be months later.  I also realized that the person’s true self didn’t show until after around three months, because you can only front for so long.  In that reflection, I also noted that in relationships that didn’t have that three month period, those relationships usually ended within three months. Hmmm, maybe there is something to this waiting thing.

Continue reading “THEY” said I Need to Get Married, You’ll Do

Are Life Partnerships Really our Goal as We Age?

I wasn’t the type of girl that planned her wedding at the age of 5 and continued to expand on the details to the dream every year until adulthood.  I was actually the girl that said she’d never get married or have kids.  My plan was to have a boyfriend with a two year max and he could not live with me.  That was my plan for a very long time.  The concept of marriage just didn’t seem like it fit me.  I honestly can’t explain my thoughts.  When I actually did get married, I wasn’t like most women who are excited to plan a wedding.  My fiancé wanted a wedding.  I didn’t, but I told him that he could plan it and I’ll show up.  We ended up at the court house. Continue reading Are Life Partnerships Really our Goal as We Age?

“Lessons from Losers in Love” is Here!

I just released my latest project, a book entitled “Lessons from Losers in Love” on September 13th, one day after my 40-somethingth birthday.  This 230 page book is a compilation of stories from 22 people from all over the world (yes, I got international submissions) about loves they lost and the lessons they learned in the long run.  The stories come from a very diverse group – men, women, disabled, Christian, Mormon, a farmer, a politician, different orientations, different ethnicities, etc.  I’m very proud of the diversity represented, but I’m most proud for the universality of us all overcoming adversity and learning from those experiences.  Anyway, if you are looking for some new reading material over the weekend, I’d appreciate the support.  The book is available on Amazon.com.  Thanks in advance for your support.




Ciara/Russell Wilson: Dating with Children


First of all Russell has been my unrealistic, cougar crush in my head for a few years because he’s intelligent, he consistently does volunteer work at the children’s hospital, and he just “seems” like a good man. I’m sure Ciara saw many more realistic qualities which is why she choose him and especially why she is comfortable bringing him around her son. Since their courtship became public, I’ve seen all kinds of articles implying she’s being vengeful towards her child’s father, Future.  Really?  Was he being vengeful by dating all the other women he dated after he broke up with each of his other children’s mothers?  Why should a mother have to put her needs for companionship on pause just because she is not with the father of her child?  Meanwhile, the father is free to be with any woman (or multiple women) whenever he feels.  Should she hide her relationship so she won’t upset the child and/or the child’s father?  Not at all. Continue reading Ciara/Russell Wilson: Dating with Children