Dumped for a Reason

It’s not you, it’s me.  Have you ever been told that infamous break up line?  It is horrendous.  It explains nothing.  It says nothing.  You leave with nothing.  They might as well just abruptly stop talking to you and let you figure out that they are gone.

Most of us adults have had a relationship or two (or multiple ones).  In at least one, I would assume that you got dumped.  It’s just not logical and realistic that you were always the dumper.  With that in mind, your partner had to tell you that they wanted out at some point.  Sometimes we’re devastated, but rarely is it a complete surprise.  There are usually signs when things head south.  We just usually pretend they aren’t happening.  Then when our partner says they want out, we look confused and ask why.  Depending on the jerkiness level of that partner depends on the response you are given.  It may be an honest truth, a mix of truth and lie, a damn lie, or something that says nothing like, “It’s not you, it’s me.”  Continue reading Dumped for a Reason

Not All Failures Are Failures

You had your heart set on something.  It happened just as you imagined.  Then day one, you realize that thing you wanted is no longer there.  It’s no longer right.  It no longer looks like you imagined early on or felt the way it did initially.  What happened?  How did this failure happen?  How will things go from this point forward?

We’ve all had these types of experiences.  If you haven’t, you will.  Give it time.  For those of us who have had the pleasure of failure, we typically can look back and see that we are in a different space now and we overcame that situation.  Now some of you are still stuck on me calling your failure pleasant.  Maybe I’m a masochistic.  I don’t know, but I am one of those people who appreciate the unpleasant times because they are usually followed by very pleasant ones.

A few years ago, I spoke to a friend who divorced.  They tried to describe what they were going through.  All they kept clearly repeating was that they felt like a failure.  They did not know what to tell their family and friends about the demise of the union.  They thought that people would blame them personally or pick sides.  At that point, I could only listen because I could not fully relate.  However, their words of failure suck deep within. Continue reading Not All Failures Are Failures

The Backup Bench

I’m going to share a big secret with all of you fellas.  Please don’t let the ladies know I told our secret…  All ladies in relationships have had a backup bench. Yep, I said it.  We have a backup plan, just in case you act a fool.  I know you just read this and looked at your lady sideways.  You asked her if she has a bench and she crinkled her face, hid her smirk, and said no with a laugh.  Yep, I know because she has one.  Continue reading The Backup Bench