It’s Not Them. It’s You.



its you

I want the perfect relationship. Yep, I said it. (Ok, perfect for me). I want someone to call me the first thing they do in the morning just to say hello and wish me well. I want to wake up one morning and find my love smiling peacefully staring at me, as he was waiting excitedly for me to wake. I want to go to a function and overhear my love bragging about me and what I bring to his life. I want to feel so secure in my relationship that I can trust him wholeheartedly in every situation that he will make the right choice that won’t end up hurting either of us. I want him to thank the universe and all our previous failed relationships for bringing us together. I want it like that. Continue reading It’s Not Them. It’s You.

Accepting Love

I completed a survey on character strengths from U Penn and one question asked if you are able to accept love. Say what now? “Are you able to accept love?”  I paused on the questionnaire.  It was a dumb question to me initially.  Then I stopped to figure out why that question was even on there (yeah, I get pretty deep in thought over small things at times).  Eventually, it made sense. It then explained some behaviors of some people I know. They can’t accept love. The closer they get to someone or the more emotionally connected they become, they act out or push them away purposely.  They can’t accept love. Continue reading Accepting Love

Facebook Life Lessons

People use Facebook and other social media sites for various reasons. I use it because of the ease to connect with people I already know all over the world (no new friends). Some people criticize it, but steady stalk folks without any comments or likes. Some use it to build an audience for themselves just for attention.  However, I’ve learned a lot from the site. What I’ve learned most is we are all different. Some of you just said, “Duh!” That’s ok, but it’s real. I know an eclectic group of people. Some work retail for minimum wages and some are CEOs. Some barely graduated high school, while some have several degrees. Some have household incomes of less than $35k, but own homes, while others make over 6 figures yet can’t afford a home in their area. Some singles profess they are happily living the single life yet secretly hoping for love. Some couples fake their happiness in public while they are actually just tolerating each other because letting go wouldn’t look right. All in all, we are different. What works for you may not work for me and vice versa. I’m cool with that. Can you be? Continue reading Facebook Life Lessons

Adversity = Life lessons =Growth

growth - -- USED

No one wants to go through hard times. They’re uncomfortable, they take us out of our character, and sometimes they can even be down-right embarrassing. If we wallow in those moments for-what-seems-like-ever, we don’t learn from the experience. We may even re-live the experience over and over and then wonder why we keep having the same situation occur again and again. However, if we reflect on that situation after we’ve come to the realization that, yes, it did happen to us, then we can focus on the lesson we have to learn and figure out how to avoid it in the future, resulting in growth.
Continue reading Adversity = Life lessons =Growth


You have the dream. You have the skills. You have access to the capital. You don’t act. You sit back and watch others live their dreams out. What? Back up. You have what it takes, yet you don’t take actions to get it done. Why? You can’t explain it. Well, you can, but it won’t make sense so you keep it to yourself as you continue to let your dreams slip. Eventually, you blame others. You become resentful of your failed non-attempts, then you fall into complacency. Then suddenly, one day you realize you can actually do what you wanted to do all along. Now where was that plan you wrote out? Where did you hide that notebook of contacts? You’re ready this time. “Watch me!” you say to yourself. Now you’ve awakened the beast within. Continue reading Self-sabotage

You are flawed, but that’s perfect!

flawedI’m damaged.  So are you. Don’t front. We have all been that dented can of peaches on the grocery store shelf.  We remain on that shelf as customers walk up, look at our dent, and choose the next can that looks better. One day, we leave the shelf in one of two ways.  Continue reading You are flawed, but that’s perfect!


Most of us have someone, at some point in our lives, that we looked up to.  It could be an older relative with the big house that no one else in the family has, a teacher who has the respect of all the students, the dude down the street that has all the girls chasing him, etc.  Someone has something in life that we want and we secretly wish we had whatever it is that they have.  We try to figure out what we have to do to be like them.  We want to follow in their footsteps.  That seems logical enough because everyone has been there.  I learned a lesson about wanting what others have when I was in the elementary school and it’s a lesson I continue to share at the age of 40.
Continue reading Footsteps

Living vs Existing

Living vs Existing

Live life to the fullest. Live each day like it’s your last. Y.O.L.O. (AKA You Only Live Once).  We’ve heard all these phrases before.  Maybe you’ve even said them or better yet yelled out “Y.O.L.O!” while partying or doing something crazy. Yeah, we like to say we are “living,” but how many of us are really just existing? How many of us really know the difference? Continue reading Living vs Existing