I love mentoring. It’s one of my passions. I’ve been a mentor. I’ve started mentoring programs. I wrote my doctoral dissertation on mentoring. Did I mention that I love mentoring?
Seeing someone grow and develop under the willing guidance of another is beautiful. I’ve often wondered who I would be if I had a mentor growing up. Many of our young males growing up who have the accessibility of positive, male mentors turn out to be quite successful. Imagine if every person had a mentor.
With that concept in mind, I told someone that I think there should be a fatherhood mentoring program. Nation-wide! Let’s be really real for a moment. We all know someone who is a messed up father. I’m not even going to limit it to fathers though. There are some trifling mothers out there as well.
Unfortunately, not everyone who desires to be a parent can be one. That fact makes the fact that there are some parents who should not be parents an awful scenario. I’ve had the unpleasant experience of working with children who had parents who didn’t need that role. These kids suffered. These parents had no idea or didn’t care. Yet, someone knows these people personally and befriend them. Sometimes, I’d wonder if their family member or friends knew how trifling they were to their children and if so, do they ever say anything to their deadbeat friend. I’m in my head like, “You don’t have a friend, an auntie, or somebody to tell you that you are a mess?” I asked my social media circle what they would do if they had one of these people as friend. Yet, I added more to the pot. I asked what if this friend bragged that they do not support their children to spite the person who is taking care of the child(ren). The room filled with loud opinions.
Some said they would talk to their friend about the impact of their actions on their child(ren). A few said that they could not be friends with someone with that mentality. They would first speak with them and then if that friend continued, they would no longer be friends with the person. All stated that that friend would lose their respect. In all, everyone would be honest about their opinions whether that friend wanted to hear it or not. This made me feel good, but it still made me think about all those jacked up parents who are jacking up their kids. Someone is still their friend.
If we all decide to mentor a parent who needs some direction, maybe we can change society. Maybe we will have better focused and more respectful children. Maybe we could put more funding into our educational system instead of juvenile corrections. Maybe we will stop seeing recordings of fight videos. Maybe we will stop seeing young ladies using their sexuality for monetary gain and publicity. Maybe our young men will grow to value their own women and children. Maybe, just maybe, we can change the world.