You Can’t Demand Respect When You’re Not Respectable

I have a guy friend who has a female friend that he cares for like a sister, but his female friend super sucks at relationships.  I know, I’m the divorced one, so some might be tooting up their lips reading that statement, but I’m serious. This woman is beautiful, intelligent, and accomplished, but doggone it, her love life is tragic.  The last few dudes she’s been with have all been super disrespectful to her while they were “together.” Now all relationships have ups and downs.  No one should expect relationship perfection, but again, hers all sucked. While she can’t understand where the disrespect comes from, in hindsight or even foresight, she didn’t demand respect.  Each of her situationships ended because of another woman.  Did the dudes cheat on her?  Not really.  It turns out she was the one they were cheating with.  Each of these guys already had a lady in their life in which they had a relationship.  At some point, she learned of this other woman who was already in the picture, yet she choose to stay.

Red flag. Stop sign. Warning signal. Whatever is needed, that’s a big azz no-no that you do not cross.  I don’t care how good you think you are to take a man from his lady, you better pack up those thoughts, block all contact, and move on.  If you don’t and you cross the line of, “Oh, it’s ok, I’m going to show him I can love him better and take him,” then he knows you have no self-respect and; therefore, he no longer respects you.

Now, some of you may be thinking that’s not true because you know someone who ended up marrying their side chick.  While that does happen, ask yourself how often that happens.  Better yet, ask yourself if that couple is truly happy.   We all know that if a person will cheat on their significant other to be with you, they will cheat on you to be with someone else.  Then what can you say? Not a damn thing because you played that game right along with them.  The side chick that becomes the main chick tends to develop a type of paranoia.   She remembers the lies he used to tell his ex to be with her, so now when he says he’s going to the store, she’s thinking he’s lying to be with another woman.  When he says he’s going on a guy’s weekend away, she’s calling the hotel they used to go creep off to for their flings.  He may have turned over a new leaf and is on the right track, but it’s possible he’s just repeating the cycle. Why?  Because he never truly respected you in the first place.

All in all, if you act in a way that shows that you have little respect for yourself, no one else is going to respect you either.  To get respect, you must show that you expect respect. Today’s challenge is to do a little self-reflection to see if you are giving out respect vibes.  If not, figure out what you need to do to be considered respectable.

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