The Backup Bench

I’m going to share a big secret with all of you fellas.  Please don’t let the ladies know I told our secret…  All ladies in relationships have had a backup bench. Yep, I said it.  We have a backup plan, just in case you act a fool.  I know you just read this and looked at your lady sideways.  You asked her if she has a bench and she crinkled her face, hid her smirk, and said no with a laugh.  Yep, I know because she has one. 

Don’t get mad, throwing stuff, telling her to get out, and accuse her of cheating.  She’s not.  Well, I don’t know her personally, but I’ll go on a limb here for most women.  The backup bench is not actually a bunch of men she’s dealing with currently, but if you mess up, she can pick one up from the bench and carry on like nothing happened, just like your favorite sport.

In sports, for every position, there is a starter and a backup.  The backup is usually known as the bench.  If your starter is unable to fulfill their duties for whatever reasons, that backup player that’s eagerly waiting in the wings will gladly step in and take over.

I shared the secret of the bench with my manfriend a few months ago.  A short period of time later, I saw a Vine video about this very topic.  What was ironic is they had men sitting on a bench as if they were waiting to get into a game.  Hilarious.  It fit perfectly and proved my point.  We now make random jokes when he does something that he thinks I don’t like. He asks if I’m going to head over to the bench.  We laugh and move on.

In actuality, I can honestly say that this is the first relationship I’ve had in which I have not had a bench.  I know you just tooted up your lips to the side and mumbled, “umm hmm.”  I know, I know.  I said every woman has one.  Just because we may have had a bench during some point in our lives, it doesn’t mean we always have one or need one.  Currently, I don’t have a bench because I don’t think I need one.  In hindsight, I eventually had a backup bench in every relationship prior to this one because there were insecurities that never settled for whatever reason.  If I was not certain about the trajectory about the relationship, that’s when I noticed that I began to build my backup plan.

If your woman has a bench, then there is a need that is not being fulfilled…by you.  She has gazed the field and knows her options. She has her eye on someone she thinks would make her forget about you.  However, if your lady does not have a bench, then you must be doing something right.  When a woman feels happy and secure in her relationship, there is no need for a bench.  You are her starter and her bench. She is willing to start and end with you.  Stay on your game.  Keep her happy or risk the demotion from starter to bench yourself.

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