Live, Love, and Be You

Honestly, my life is stressful. Sometimes I wish I could skip forward and get to the good parts.  I doubt myself often. I think I’m not good enough. I feel like I let people down. I start projects and never finish.  I feel like a failure.  I’ve been taken advantage of, taken for granted, cheated on, financially abused, and emotionally manipulated.  I’m in a state of complete uncertainty.  I worked three jobs because I had to, not because I’m superwoman. I’ve looked away when I saw seemingly happy families having fun.  I’ve held my head down and sighed when men publicly acknowledge and appreciate their ladies.  I’ve been called a bad mother.  My bank account is just a frowny face and my refrigerator is not full.  I think I’m in love with the most amazing man, yet afraid of him at the same time. I cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I have to be reminded that I’m a good person; that I’ve done good things that will forever impact someone’s life, and that I am loved without conditions. Continue reading Live, Love, and Be You

Man of the House

When a woman is single and has a son, sometimes other people who live outside of the home often tell the son that he is the man of the house as a way of giving that male child some advice or directive in responsibility.  I never really thought much of this as I’ve heard it before and seen the scenario on TV… that was until I found myself single raising a young man alone in my house.  I then overheard the conversations from well-meaning relatives who instructed my tween that he was now the Man of the House.  Thanks, but no thanks. Continue reading Man of the House

The Backup Bench

I’m going to share a big secret with all of you fellas.  Please don’t let the ladies know I told our secret…  All ladies in relationships have had a backup bench. Yep, I said it.  We have a backup plan, just in case you act a fool.  I know you just read this and looked at your lady sideways.  You asked her if she has a bench and she crinkled her face, hid her smirk, and said no with a laugh.  Yep, I know because she has one.  Continue reading The Backup Bench

Who taught you to love?


Sometimes anti-role models are who we need to follow or not-follow.  In this case, these people come in handy.  Raise your hand if you remember witnessing a volatile relationship – be it physical, loud arguments, abuse, cheating and/or disrespect.  Let those other people’s experiences be your lesson.  Personally, I remember looking to my anti-role models to help guide me through life.  I saw that unprotected sex resulted in teen pregnancy in which the boy usually was not around. I learned that little education often led to dead in jobs with low pay. The life experiences that I witnessed of others helped me majorly.  I’m not sure where I would be if I had not learned those lessons that I learned from pure observation.

What does love have to do with learning life lessons?  A heck of a lot.  Just about all of our beliefs come from experiences that happened during our childhood.  We either embrace those lessons as we become adults or we do the complete opposite of what we were taught because for whatever reason, it does not agree with our souls.  For example, you probably have the same political affiliation as those who raised you.  You probably have the same religion as well.  Why?  Because you were taught that this particular way of thinking is correct. The same is true with love. Continue reading Who taught you to love?

Ciara/Russell Wilson: Dating with Children


First of all Russell has been my unrealistic, cougar crush in my head for a few years because he’s intelligent, he consistently does volunteer work at the children’s hospital, and he just “seems” like a good man. I’m sure Ciara saw many more realistic qualities which is why she choose him and especially why she is comfortable bringing him around her son. Since their courtship became public, I’ve seen all kinds of articles implying she’s being vengeful towards her child’s father, Future.  Really?  Was he being vengeful by dating all the other women he dated after he broke up with each of his other children’s mothers?  Why should a mother have to put her needs for companionship on pause just because she is not with the father of her child?  Meanwhile, the father is free to be with any woman (or multiple women) whenever he feels.  Should she hide her relationship so she won’t upset the child and/or the child’s father?  Not at all. Continue reading Ciara/Russell Wilson: Dating with Children

Understanding Why Things Didn’t Work Out

I want _______ and I want it now!  Really?  Good luck with that.  Life is usually not dictated by what you want and when.  It just doesn’t work that way.

How many times have you wanted something sooooooo bad that you couldn’t imagine life without this thing and ended up not getting it?  Imagine that.  You lived.  Even still, you probably ended up finding out that you were better off without it in the first place. Continue reading Understanding Why Things Didn’t Work Out

Don’t Settle

dont settle - -- USED

Sometimes we refuse to move on something that we need to, giving the excuse that we are comfortable even when in actuality that situation is really uncomfortable.  The truth is we are used to the familiarity of the situation, not the comfort. Once we realize that we can achieve more, we can have more, and we deserve more; then we can move towards that happiness and freedom that we’ve been longing to achieve. Don’t settle for the status quo.