It’s Not Them. It’s You.



its you

I want the perfect relationship. Yep, I said it. (Ok, perfect for me). I want someone to call me the first thing they do in the morning just to say hello and wish me well. I want to wake up one morning and find my love smiling peacefully staring at me, as he was waiting excitedly for me to wake. I want to go to a function and overhear my love bragging about me and what I bring to his life. I want to feel so secure in my relationship that I can trust him wholeheartedly in every situation that he will make the right choice that won’t end up hurting either of us. I want him to thank the universe and all our previous failed relationships for bringing us together. I want it like that.

Some of us go through life being loved and others go through life loving others. Huh? Sometimes we want something so bad, we see what we want to see or even make it up in our heads. How many times have you known someone talk about their significant other, but you know good and well that other does not think of them as significant? We all either know someone like that or been that person.

Relationships are rough. They start off as amazing and joyful and can turn into a living nightmare. If we could identify the turning point in our relationships, we may be able to correct them before they turn down Elm Street or we may be able to recognize that this is not the situation we need at all and cut our losses.

Sometimes we have to do even more than identifying the mutual turning point. Sometimes we have to look dead in the mirror. We all know someone (or we are the person) who keeps repeating the same damn cycle. They are physically abused in every relationship. They are taken advantage of financially in every relationship. They never make it pass week two in a relationship. Whatever it is, the cycle repeats and they constantly say they don’t know why.  These are the people that have to at some point realize they are the common denominator. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not blaming the abuse victim for being abused, but realistically, if this pattern repeats with multiple partners, there is someone wrong with both parties that need to be examined.

Your challenge of the day is to reflect on your relationships if you are seeking one or seeking a healthier one. Recall the situations that turned loving interactions into tension filled moments. Ask yourself what is something you could have done differently without thinking about all the faults you want to blame on your partner.  You may find the answer and solution that can make your next relationship a long lasting and loving one.


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