How many of us experienced something and afterwards realized that there were signs right in front of us all along that we completely missed because we were too blind to see them? I remember working with a child who was being sexually assaulted by their parent. After the horrific acts came to light, the staff and I were sick re-living exchanges that were probably clues that we blatantly missed. If it had been another parent, those same clues may have stood out like a Black man at a Klan rally, but we were blinded by the perceptions we were led to believe.
We often tend to believe things or not to believe things based on other factors we perceive about people. Basically, we see what we want. We think our partner is not cheating because we want to believe that they love us like no other, they could never possibly betray us. All the while, they may have a completely different family on the other side of town the entire time. After the betrayal is revealed, only then do we realize that the cheater never answered the phone after 6pm, they claimed they didn’t have social media accounts because they are evil, they didn’t like going out because it’s more intimate to stay home and spend time together. All the signs were there, but we want so desperately to be loved that we make excuses.
Sometimes we have friends that try to guide us to the light, but sometimes if they do, the friend is usually the one that gets the backlash – “You’re just jealous. You don’t want me to be happy,” etc. We then tend to open our eyes a bit, but don’t want to share they have been opened to avoid embarrassment.
Eventually all truths come out and we deal with them as such. So what makes us so blind that we will accept hurt/lies over the truth that is starring at us? Desperation. Yep, we humans get desperate sometimes. We accept minimal effort from others and then make up excuses to fill in the rest of the need.
Today’s challenge is to use your foresight and not hindsight to avoid negative situations. Instead of looking backwards at things you missed, but now see; look at your current situations to prepare for what lies ahead.