Man Up

Man Up for Fatherhood

I’ve never been one of those women who say that there are no good men. I’ve never been a male-basher, nor do I ever hope to become one.  However, this topic has been on my mind for a minute.

Last year, my vehicle kept breaking down. I couldn’t afford to get it fixed (that’s another discussion), so I was piece-mealing it together until I could do better.  During my last break down, I stood at a gas station with my jumper cables and hood up waiting for a nice soul.  Several men pulled in, pumped, and kept going. After about 15 minutes in the dark, I tried another approach.  I was going to just flat out ask someone to help me. A man and woman who were obviously together, but in separate cars, pulled up.  Perfect. I approach them and ask the gentleman if he can assist me with a jump. He hesitated, but eventually said he’d try.  I’m wondering what “I’ll try” meant, but waited to pass judgment later.  I just needed to get home to my children.  I figured out what “I’ll try” meant. This grown man did not know how to open his hood, nor did he know how to connect the jumper cables.  I did it all, but I’m grateful he let me use his battery so I would not be stranded. This simple event triggered my exploration into wondering what happened to men.

Recent experiences, e-messages, and conversations have caused me to wonder what is happening to our men.  I have heard stories of adult males who simply are not men.  They are grown by legal standards, some married, some with children, some with damn good jobs; yet they are not men. When a man fails to meet his obligations and responsibilities, he is a boy fronting in a man’s body. I’m growing very tired of men who have walked away from their children to have them fend for themselves.  Refusing to support your children financially, emotionally, or even give them a decent amount of your time is shameful.  There should never be room for any other man to have the ability to take on your role.  Never.

Despite the shenanigans of these men-boys, I cannot and will not say that men are no good. There are many very extraordinary men.  I happen to know a good dozen of them that I wish could be cloned. Some are fathers and some aren’t fathers but play the role of a father for one or many that need them.  The truth is that they shouldn’t be “needed” to play the role that another “man” simply will not do. If you are offended by this post, then good.  More than likely, I’m speaking directly to you. The truth hurts and hopefully it will call you to action.  For some, they will be offended, yet still continue their childish way.  For your children’s’ sake, I hope they find a man to enter their lives and give them everything you choose not to give.  For those of you who are fulfilling the roles those man-boys left open, I salute you.  Continue to give of yourself unselfishly. You are appreciated.  Even if those children can’t verbally express their gratitude, believe me, they are grateful for your sacrifices.

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