No one wants to go through hard times. They’re uncomfortable, they take us out of our character, and sometimes they can even be down-right embarrassing. If we wallow in those moments for-what-seems-like-ever, we don’t learn from the experience. We may even re-live the experience over and over and then wonder why we keep having the same situation occur again and again. However, if we reflect on that situation after we’ve come to the realization that, yes, it did happen to us, then we can focus on the lesson we have to learn and figure out how to avoid it in the future, resulting in growth.
Too technical? Let’s look at a real life example…
A friend dated a guy who was pretty nice in the beginning, like they all are at first, but the guy was not on the same financial level as my friend. Although she didn’t have a problem with his income, she wanted him to understand that it was not a factor and did not diminish his manhood. He tried wining and dining her, but his income really did not allow for the entertainment he was trying to give his high income lady friend. Eventually, my friend began to pay for 75% of their entertainment opposed to the 50% she was doing before. Her man friend became comfortable with this. Eventually, he was extra cool with her not only paying for 100% of their entertainment, he had grown comfortable even asking her for money as he chose to spend his however he pleased because he knew she would cover his needs.
I know right now you’re saying, “Oh hell no. He wouldn’t live off of me!” That is the same thing she said. Before too long, she didn’t even realize that she was actually caring for a grown azz man until her friends and family pointed out the horror. She dismissed it because he loved her. Besides they were going to be together for the long haul. That was until she realized that she had been supporting this man as he entertaining another woman with the money she had been giving him. Embarrassed, who could she tell? She couldn’t run to all the people that already told her she was a fool, so she kept the details to herself and just said they simply broke up. Fast forward to her future relationships – she continued to find herself paying for entertainment and bills of men. Instead of learning to establish financial boundaries from the beginning and sticking with them, she unhappily still continues to “buy men” and wonders how come she can’t find a man to take care of her.
This young lady repeats the same scenario in relationships because she has not learned the life lesson she was supposed to after the first one. Until she realizes that she is readily allowing herself to be a sugar momma, she will continue down the same path in all of her relationships until she wakes up.
Your challenge of the day is to remove you from you and look at the repeated patterns in your life that you haven’t been able to escape. Think deeply about that pattern and try to find the root. Answers to our own mysteries always lie within. You just have to be conscious enough to see them.