Are Life Partnerships Really our Goal as We Age?

I wasn’t the type of girl that planned her wedding at the age of 5 and continued to expand on the details to the dream every year until adulthood.  I was actually the girl that said she’d never get married or have kids.  My plan was to have a boyfriend with a two year max and he could not live with me.  That was my plan for a very long time.  The concept of marriage just didn’t seem like it fit me.  I honestly can’t explain my thoughts.  When I actually did get married, I wasn’t like most women who are excited to plan a wedding.  My fiancé wanted a wedding.  I didn’t, but I told him that he could plan it and I’ll show up.  We ended up at the court house. Continue reading Are Life Partnerships Really our Goal as We Age?

Relationship Investments and Balance Sheets

Are you owed something if you make an investment? That investment may come in many forms, so may the return on that investment.  In thinking about relationships, one may consider their money or time spent during the relationship as an investment.  If that relationship ends, are you owed something?  If the relationship progresses, do you consider that a return on your investment?

I know a former couple in which one party traveled quite frequently to spend time with the other.  While together, the other party took care of all the other expenses during their romantic excursions.  Although the traveler spent a significantly larger amount of money for their togetherness, they thought of it as an investment into the relationship.  When that relationship ended, the traveler wanted reimbursement for the overage in costs (their travel expenses –amounts their partner spent for weekend expenses = the return they wanted back).  They wanted to make things equal because overall, their investment did not result in the anticipated gains for either of them. Continue reading Relationship Investments and Balance Sheets

Don’t you Know No Good?

Have you ever heard someone speak about a person you’ve known in such an unflattering way that you couldn’t believe this to be the same person you knew? “They’re no good.” “They’re a womanizer.” “They just ain’t ‘bout shit.”  How can a good person turn into such a person that someone else just wishes they would evaporate?

I’ve always had platonic, male friends.  Some people don’t think that’s possible, but it is.  When my male friends open up to me about their emotions, I often find hidden hurt.  Make that hidden and unhealed hurt.  Have you ever heard the phrase Hurt People Hurt People?  If not, it basically says that when people hurt someone else, it’s usually because they are hurt. Continue reading Don’t you Know No Good?

Social Media vs. Real Life

I’ve written about social media’s impact on those who feel that everyone else’s life is better than theirs because their social media timeline shows them so.  Although this topic is similar in nature, it’s actually the reverse.  Are you comfortable sharing your true personal life on social media?

I remember when Facebook started to become really popular.  On my timeline, most of my friends posted almost daily, sharing the ins and outs of their lives.  It was pretty awesome seeing my friends who now live in places I’d need to book a flight to visit instead of driving down the street.  I could watch their children grow through posted family pics.  I could praise their accomplishments.  I could even snoop into their personal lives even harder than they shared by clicking on their friends’ profile pictures and see what’s going on in their lives as well.  It’s all good fun for me.  Continue reading Social Media vs. Real Life

Family Culture – Can You Relate?

“Where the heck did I come from?”  Some people find themselves asking this question about their own families.  Their family’s view on life is very different from their own.  They don’t align. They are the black sheep, if you will.  Some people embrace the differences that their families bring and have pride in the varied relatives with different thoughts, actions, and lifestyles.  There are others who find themselves embarrassed about their families and try to keep certain parts of their backgrounds a secret. Then, there are a set of people who fall right in between.  Continue reading Family Culture – Can You Relate?

If I Make it Look Easy

I apologize if I make it look easy.  It’s not.  I know many people experience difficulties.  Scratch that – EVERYBODY experiences difficulties, but it’s not obvious to most.  We typically don’t announce our shortcomings or negative experiences, but we blast our happy moments.  In actuality, we all experience the good and bad.  However, when you’re going through your bad and everyone is speaking of their good, it seems like you are the only person with negative experiences and; therefore, your life must be worse than everyone else’s.  That’s simply not true.  Continue reading If I Make it Look Easy

“Lessons from Losers in Love” is Here!

I just released my latest project, a book entitled “Lessons from Losers in Love” on September 13th, one day after my 40-somethingth birthday.  This 230 page book is a compilation of stories from 22 people from all over the world (yes, I got international submissions) about loves they lost and the lessons they learned in the long run.  The stories come from a very diverse group – men, women, disabled, Christian, Mormon, a farmer, a politician, different orientations, different ethnicities, etc.  I’m very proud of the diversity represented, but I’m most proud for the universality of us all overcoming adversity and learning from those experiences.  Anyway, if you are looking for some new reading material over the weekend, I’d appreciate the support.  The book is available on Amazon.com.  Thanks in advance for your support.

Lessons_from_Losers__Cover_for_Kindle

https://www.amazon.com/Lessons-Losers-Love-Relationships-Valuable/dp/0578184141/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1474035618&sr=1-1&keywords=lessons+from+losers+in+love

 

Lessons from Losers in Love

Lessons_from_Losers__Cover_for_Kindle

Lessons from Losers in Love:True Stories from Failed Relationships that Turned into Valuable Life Lessons is a collection of 22 personal stories from around the world that deals with love, loss, and lessons.  The chapters include lessons on Toxic Bonds, Facades and Religion, Multiple Partners, Rejection, Finding Myself, Deception, Redemption, and Self-Revelation.

Available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle. 

Dumped for a Reason

It’s not you, it’s me.  Have you ever been told that infamous break up line?  It is horrendous.  It explains nothing.  It says nothing.  You leave with nothing.  They might as well just abruptly stop talking to you and let you figure out that they are gone.

Most of us adults have had a relationship or two (or multiple ones).  In at least one, I would assume that you got dumped.  It’s just not logical and realistic that you were always the dumper.  With that in mind, your partner had to tell you that they wanted out at some point.  Sometimes we’re devastated, but rarely is it a complete surprise.  There are usually signs when things head south.  We just usually pretend they aren’t happening.  Then when our partner says they want out, we look confused and ask why.  Depending on the jerkiness level of that partner depends on the response you are given.  It may be an honest truth, a mix of truth and lie, a damn lie, or something that says nothing like, “It’s not you, it’s me.”  Continue reading Dumped for a Reason